Pony Play can be one of the most beautiful and disciplined fetishes. Both Handling and Pony Play require discipline, training, and commitment to the experience. Many handlers will train under professional equestrians in order to learn the proper skills necessary to train their pony.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Ethical Non-Monogamy Reading for Professionals
Ethical Slut, Dossie Easton and Cathrine A. Liszt (Greenery Press, 2004). This book is a philosophical and practical handbook for those who are interested in exploring theca non- monogamy.
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2008). This book is an introduction to the concept of open relationships discussed the difficulties and benefits of this exploration for couples.
Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic, Raven Kaldera (Alfred Press, 2010). This book is a practical guide in how to maneuver both polyamory and power exchange relationships.
Swinging for Beginners: An Introduction to the Lifestyle, Kaye Bellemeade (New Tradition Books, 2008). This book is a fantastic introduction for anyone interested in trying out swinging.
What Does Polyamory Look Like?: Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships, Mim Chapman (iUniverse.com, 2012). This book is an examination of polyamory culture, polyamory movement, and the modern views of open relationships.
COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Difficult Conversations, Doug Stone (Penguin Books, 2000). The book is one of the best resources for combatting anxiety-provoking conversations. It provides tools and strategies for individuals who struggle with having emotional conversations.
Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton (Penguin, 1991). This book is an excellent negotiation resource. It gives the fundamentals and tactics for negotiation and introduces the concepts of need vs. Principle.
The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships Kathy Labriola (Greenery Press, 2013). This is a good practical resource for couples and individuals who are struggling with jealousy.
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships, John Gottman and Joan DeClaire (Harmony, 2002). This book is an introduction to the research, science and practical understand of what makes relationships successful and how to better communicate.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Power Exchange Reading for Professionals
After her seemingly perfect world came crashing down Chloe Donnovan was faced with a crisis of identity. In a bold attempt to start life over in a more authentic way, she confessed her darkest secret, a desire to submit to her husband Leo. The two set off on a year of information, exploration, and sexual experimentation that will either breathe new life into the relationship or lead to their final demise. Darling Discovered: A True Story of Submission explores issues of trust, self-acceptance, and healing, set amongst the sandy beaches of Florida in an emotional and pleasurable read. Winner of 2015 BDSM Writer’s Con in Non-Fiction Category.
Assimilation: Tales of Transformation and Surrender, Bootbush (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2012). A collection of stories that discus a variety of BDSM play including water sports and puppy play.
BDSM Mastery – Basics: Your Guide to Play, Parties, and Scene Protocols, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (2014). This is an excellent book for BDSM beginners on navigating the social and play aspects of the BDSM lifestyle.
Bootblacking 101: A Handbook, Andrew Diarmid (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2007). This book is an excellent introduction and resource to understanding the practice and protocols of bootblacking in the fetish and Kink community.
Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and Do It Safely, Bill Henkin (Daedalus Publishing Company, 1996). This introduction focuses on defining the language of Kink in an accessible manner.
The Age Play and Diaper Fetish Handbook. Penny Barber (Lulu.com, 2011). This book is an excellent handbook for those individuals who are interested in exploring age play and diaper fetishes.
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Philip Miller and Molly Devon (Mystic Rose Books 1995). This book is an excellent introduction to BDSM and covers a variety of topics including safety and basic skills.
Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé, Lee Harrington (Mystic Productions Press, 2015). . . This book is a great Japanese beginner’s guide to rope play.
Skin Tight: Rubbermen, Macho Fetish and Fantasy, Tim Brough (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2007). This book is an excellent exploration to the world of rubber and rubber fetish.
The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies, Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press, 2004). A quick reference guide for handling emergencies both big and small.
BDSM Mastery-Relationships: A Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissive, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (Red Eight Ball Press, 2015). This handbook is a good resource for the development and nurturing of the power exchange relationship.
Care and Nurture for the Submissive – A Must Read for Any Woman in a BDSM Relationship (Women’s Guide to BDSM), Elizabeth Cramer (Amazon Kindle, 2013). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as an s-type and are looking for a way to articulate and understand what expectations they may need to negotiate in their power exchange relationships.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 2: 25 Things You Must Know Before Doing Anything Else, Elisabeth Cramer (2013). This 2nd volume by Cramer to help new D-types grow in their relationships.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 3: How to Use These 31 Everyday Objects to Train Your New Sub for Ultimate Pleasure & Excitement, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). The 3rd book by Cramer which guides new D-types in the use of pervertables in play and training.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training: Step-By-Step Blueprint on How to Train Your New Sub. A Must Read for Any Dom/Master in a BDSM Relationship, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). . . This is an excellent resource guide for new D-types in a power exchange relationship who are looking for a guide on mentoring an s-type.
Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook, Michael Makai (Createspace, 2013). This book is an excellent resource in discussing the exploration, trails, and rewards of the power exchange relationship.
Extreme Space: The Domination and Submission Handbook, F.R.R. Mallory (Unbound Books, 2013). A guide for those who are interested in exploring and owning their sexuality in terms of BDSM and alternative relationships.
Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships, Dan and Dawn Williams (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2011). This book provides a real life account of living a TPE relationship.
The Loving Dominant, John Warren (Greenery Press, 2000). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as a D-type in a power exchange relationship but do not hold high sadistic tendencies. This is especially important for those who desire a loving and nurturing D/s.
Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household, Machele Kindle (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2011). A detailed explanation of establishing M/s households including sample contracts.
Master and Submissive or Slave Contract, Phil G. (Smashwords Edition, 2014). . . This book is an excellent resource for those individuals who are wanting an outline for a BDSM contract.
Master/Slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice, Robert J Rubel and Jay Wiseman (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2006). This book offers a good 101 to the power exchange relationship.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Reading for an Introduction to Kink for Professionals
Working with Kinky Clients: A Clinicians’ Manual
With the advent of the Internet, those who participate in alternative forms of relationship, gender, and sexual expression have come together as a community and have created a new sexual minority subculture.
The clinical needs of this community are different than the traditional mental health client and it is important for all mental health clinicians and healthcare providers to be familiar with the standard of care that may be different in the varied populations that make up this community. This document is the accompanying manual for a pilot Kink Aware Therapy Certification educational program, and it offers a fundamental working knowledge and important clinical considerations and interventions in the treatment of this population based upon one clinician’s experiences, the current research, and community literature.
This companion text also reinforces the growing need for an educational program for mental health and medical providers and further clinical research with this population.
50 Shades of Kink, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a helpful handbook and beginner’s guide to Kinky play and for those who are into impact play but are nervous about safety and protocol.
As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM, Shanna Germain (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a good KINK 10 to BDSM play with the emphasis in safety and consent.
Playing Around: A Short Introduction to Kink for the Curious, Charlie Hale (Charlie Hale, 2014). Available for free at http://playingaround.charliehale.net, this book is an easy Kink 101 book for couples interested in just getting the basics down.
Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures, Peggy J. Kleinplatz and Charles Moser (Harrington Park Press, 2006). A collection of essays by researches in a variety of fields helps to dispel the myths surround SM and those who engage in it. A great read for those interested in BDSM personally as well as mental health professionals, students, and researchers.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and The Erotic Edge, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2012). This book is an anthology from Kink educators around the world that covers everything from fantasy play to BDSM play. This is an excellent read for those just starting out because it has a diverse flavor of activities from mild to intense and offers a good exploration of Kinky play and fantasy options.
Our Dark Side: A History of Perversion, Élisabeth Roudinesco (Polity Press, 2009). A historical look at how societies have handle sexuality since the Middle Ages.
KINK COMMUNITIES AND CULTURE
Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community, Elizabeth Kennedy and Madeline D. Davis (Penguin Books, 1993). This in depth history and examination of the lesbian community of Buffalo, NY between 1930’2-1960’s combines 13 years of research.
Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, Mark Thompson (Daedalus Publishing, 2004). This book is an excellent historical collection of papers and essays on the history of the leather subculture.
Life by Association: Getting Furry, Joseph Santiago and Lina Clark (Santiago, Inc. 2012). This book is a memoir of self-discovery and exploration of the furry community.
Life, Leather and The Pursuit of Happiness: Life, History and Culture in The Leather/Bdsm/Fetish Community, Steve Lenius (Nelson\Borhek#press, 2010). This book is an anthology of selections from Steve Lenius’s 15 years as the writer of “Leather Life” for Lavender Magazine as well other writings which give readers a fun inside exploration into the leather community
Furries: A Guide to Anthropomorphism, C.D. Overstreet (CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015). This book is an excellent handbook for professionals, furries and the furry curious which explores the mysticism, the psychology, sexuality, and the science behind it all.
Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities, Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams (Greenery Press, 2012). This book is an ethnographic study and exploration of the Kink community itself rather than a how-to.
Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities, David Ortman and Richard A. Sprott (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2012). The book serves as an educational resource for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM play and the Kink community. It explores the struggles and dispels myths that are perpetuated by popular culture and the media.
Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá (Harper, 2010). This book is an analysis of ethnographic and scientific research of mono-sexuality and poly-sexuality in the field of sexual anthropology
Our BDSM Contract forms are available in electronic PDF and Microsoft Word format or a physical book. Each contract is sufficiently detailed whilst providing necessary flexibility to suit a whole range of circumstances. The standard terms specify rights and responsibilities of the parties including essential clauses such as scope of control, punishment, veto powers, termination, safe words, limits, communication and secrecy. Your agreement can be entered into for a specific time frame such as 3 months or it can be for a lifetime.
Read the descriptions below to see which document would best suit your needs:
Dominant/submissive BDSM forms – these forms specifically use the “Dominant” and “submissive” terminology and specify rights and responsibilities within this kind of relationship. It enables you to choose areas of control, safewords, soft and hard limits and punishments.
There are many kinds and levels of D/s relationships. One example is the Parent/child association. Daddy and Mommy dominants, whilst they may still be sadistic and sexual, provide more of a guiding and mentoring role to their boys and girls. The psychological connection is unique within each arrangement but the Parents usually provide affection and open their hearts to their ‘children’. Please note that references to ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ is to adult persons involved in such role play – not minors.
Master/slave contract forms or Mistress/slave BDSM contract forms – whilst these templates specifically use the “Master” or “Mistress” and “slave” terminology, they still enable the slave to retain some control. You may still choose which areas of the slave’s life Master/Mistress will have control over, safewords, soft and hard limits and allowable forms of punishment. You can make the deal as severe or mild as you like. The slave’s veto clause is optional and also the contract allows for the slave not to be able to terminate if that’s what’s desired.
Despite vanilla misconceptions, a slave is something that is deeply treasured by his/her Master. An experienced Mistress won’t just take on any slave that approaches Her and neither should a slave take on a new Master without knowing Him first. Some slaves believe it’s respectful to kneel before an unknown Master/Mistress. In truth, you should ask permission first. Without same, the Master/Mistress will simply assume you’ll kneel for anybody. you should value your surrender and submission highly.
Total Power Exchange (TPE) forms – the slave gives up all rights in favor of Master or Mistress. There are no limits and safe words are optional.
Like all other BDSM arrangements, TPE can include kinky activities or it can be purely non-sexual in nature. Some slaves trust in their Master so much they believe it’s disrespectful to have a ‘safe word’. These kinds of relationships may involve RACK (risk aware consensual kink) or consensual non-consensuality. Such edge play involves extreme levels of physical and emotional interactions. It pushes the boundaries of SSC (safe,sane and consensual) rules and should only be undertaken by experienced BDSM practitioners.
Gay BDSM Contract forms – suitable for D/s, M/s or TPE arrangements for gay couples.
Can I enforce my rights?
These documents are drawn up between a couple to show their commitment to one another and to outline the parties’ understanding, rights and responsibilities during the arrangement. They are like a prenuptial equivalent in the vanilla world, except any submissive pledge from a slave is not legally binding. Rather, they detail the expectations, goals and commitments between a Dominant and submissive or Master and slave for a certain period of time or even for life.
Please note that BDSM contracts are not legally binding. Either party may end the relationship at any time. Even consensual BDSM is illegal in many states so make sure you always stay within the law. Ignorance of the law is no excuse!
Contract form features & highlights
Editable – each .pdf form has fillable fields which you can save. The contract part of the Word document is completely editable (although copy protected). This enables you to fill out the contract over a period of time while you negotiate all the details of your relationship and then print the final version once you’re done. Alternatively, you may print and complete the contract in writing if you wish.
Duration – the contract term can be set for any period of time you like, even for “life”. At least two weeks is recommended to adjust to the arrangement and lifestyle changes. If you are only starting out, an initial period of not more than 3 months to one year is recommended.
Implementation – you can make the arrangement apply to only several days a week, for special occasions or it can be a 24/7 arrangement, depending on your requirements.
Renewal – the forms provide a section for renewal, so you don’t need to sign a new one when the term runs out.
Amendments – there is a section for you to make changes to the Contract, making it flexible and suitable for training arrangements as well. Of course, any changes will need to be signed by both parties.
Special conditions – you may stipulate your own special requirements/rituals/daily activities which you may wish to have recorded in the contract. For example, every morning slave must cook a wholesome breakfast for Master.
Goals – you can record your goals including statements of where the relationship is at and where you want it to be. This is important to reflect back to see which objectives are being achieved and which areas need more work and training.
Rights & Responsibilities – the clauses set out rights and obligations of both parties that are generally expected of partners in BDSM relationships. These include honesty, respect, attention to safety and aftercare. If you disagree with any of the terms, simply delete or cross them out. If you wish to add further responsibilities/entitlements, these can be added to the relevant clause or in the Additional Rules section.
Veto power – the ability for sub/slave to say ‘no’ to a command in certain situations. You may want this clause to be optional if your arrangement is a TPE.
Areas of control – you can either choose a total power exchange or select which aspects of the submissive’s/slave’s life will be owned/controlled (for example genitals, clothing & dress) and any specific requirements pertaining to these.
Behavior – how the sub/slave must act toward the Dominant/Master (etiquette).
Safety – all contracts have a safety clause.
Exclusivity – ability to choose how exclusive the arrangement is to be between the parties. Also includes a clause on switching.
Limits – there is a checklist which runs three pages long which enables you to identify hard and soft limits. This can give you more ideas for BDSM play.
Safe words – each contract has a clause for nominating safe words. If you don’t wish to use safewords, you can just leave this clause blank or cross it out, however this is not recommended.
Punishment – choose the allowable forms of discipline from a list of corporal and psychological punishments & add your own if needed.
Confidentiality – a clause on keeping the contents of the contract and any evidence pertaining thereto confidential and private.
Termination – the Dominant/submissive contract forms enable both parties to terminate the arrangement. The Master/Mistress & slave contracts allow the option of not allowing the slave to terminate (although you must realize this is not legally enforceable).
Legal declarations – necessary declaration clause for added moral binding authority.
Dr. Harmony’s Sample BDSM Contract
This contract sample is a medium to high protocol contract of a 24/7 D/s. . . The D-type shall be referred to as Owner of the s-type in this contract. . . The s-type shall be referred to the property in this contract.
Formal Power Exchange Contract
The purpose of this contract is for the documentation of negotiated expectations between the D-type, _________________, and the s-type, _______________, and who, by singing this contract, both parties are agreeing to the commitment to these expectations. This is not a legally binding contract. The s-type will be known as the D- type’s property. With this are negotiated expectations that will be named below. The s- type’s formal name shall be ______________. (This is often an alias adopted in the Kinky scene or one anointed to the s-type by the D-type)
Either party, only in the event of breach of contract, may terminate this agreement at any time before the below named date. On the below named date this agreement will be reviewed, renegotiated and rewritten, or terminated.
I __________________, hereinafter referred to as “the property,” do of my own free will, and being of sound mind and body, do hereby offer myself in consensual submission to __________________, hereinafter referred to as the “Owner”, for the period beginning ___________________ and ending ____________________.
Section 1: Contract Definitions
A request is for the property to do something just one time. It is not meant to be a repetitive duty, but a one-time chore.
An order is something that the Owner finds important enough that a sub will need to pay close attention. This may or may not be a continuous duty.
Instructions are an important matter. They are to be treated as most important, and the property should take notes until they are acutely familiar with the concept.
1.4. Rules and Boundaries
A rule or boundary is a set of explicit or understood regulations or principles governing conduct within this contract.
A ritual is a ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order.
A protocol is a system of rules that explain the correct conduct and procedures to be followed in this formal contract.
Section 2: The Different Levels of Protocol
Protocols are very personal, what may be a protocol for one may not be for another s- type, however there are protocol norms that are relatively the same within the Leather Lifestyle. Prior to any event or party, the property will ask the owner which protocol form will be expected. The s-type may request a certain level of protocol but the final decision belongs to the owner.
2.1. No Protocol
● The only expectation is that of good manners 2.2. Low Protocol
● The property is required to use a Owner’s given name when addressing the Owner or responding to something the Owner has said to them.
● The property may free to speak and ask questions without hesitation.
● The property may walk next to their Owner only when holding hands; otherwise
they are expected to be slightly to the rear and on one side or the other depending
on the request of their Owner.
● In a group setting, the property is not expected to keep eye contact with their
owner at all times, the property is free to roam and mingle with others without
asking direct permission.
● The property has permission to hug as a form of greeting between certain s-types
and D-types. This list of individuals will be discussed prior to any engagement.
2.3. Medium Protocol
● The property will not be out of the eyesight of their owner unless permission was requested and granted to do so. Should property wish to go elsewhere, they are expected to stand next to the owner, head bowed, eyes lowered and speak in a low tone when making their request.
● The property is restricted in conversation and when greeting others. When in Medium Protocol, the property will be attentive to their owner but may speak to those who the owner is conversing with. All others outside of the conversation will be informed that the property is in medium protocol and is not free to converse without permission from the owner.
● Greetings to all others shall come in the form of a bow of the head and hands behind the properties’ back in an “at ease position” unless otherwise stated. In some cases, specific people may have an “open hug policy” to receive and give hugs at any time, to be confirmed by the Owner in advance. Once given, an open hug policy is permanent, unless removed by the Owner.
2.5. High Protocol
● All Formal Protocols are in place.
● Language Protocols and Attending are vastly important. The property’s sole
purpose is to serve the Owner and to make the Owner’s life easier.
● At this point the property is not allowed to leave the side of the owner, not allowed
to converse with anyone unless given permission or indications that they may.
● The property is expected to be on alert at this point for anything that may disrupt
the Owner. It is the duty of the property to attempt to resolve any issues that arise. If there is an issue that cannot be resolved then they are to inform the Owner at the next availability.
● The property may not sit until the Owner is seated unless otherwise directed.
● At meals, the property may not begin eating until after the Owner has started and
granted permission for the property to eat.
● The property may be required to be quiet yet serve friends if told that they are on
service for the evening. At that point they may only speak if directly spoken to or if they need to ask a question in regards to fulfilling service.
Section 3: Standard Positions and Commands for the property
3.1. Stand or Up: stand with legs 4” apart, head up, eyes down, arms at side or behind back
● Voice Command – Stand or Up
● Hand Command – open hand moved up
3.2. Kneel: on knees, back straight, arms behind back with hands together, head up, eyes down
● Voice Command – Kneel
● Hand Command – open hand moved down with fingers together Note: This is the slave’s standard position
3.3. Sit: Indian style on the floor, knees bent, legs spread and crossed at the ankles, palms facing up on knees, back straight, head up, eyes slightly down.
● Voice Command – Sit
● Hand Command – hand moved down with index and middle finger extended and spread
Section 4: Guidance and Protection of the property
4.1. The Owner accepts full responsibility of the property. This includes but is not limited the property’s survival, health, physical well-being, and mental well-being.
4.2. It is often a common courtesy for D-type’s to care for each other’s property when a D-type is forced away from his s-type. When these arrangements are made, it is often with the exchange of service from the s-type. Service will be strictly negotiated and will not be sexual or romantic in nature. Care will only include checking in on the s-type and escorting them to events as needed. Should other needs be requested, then the Owner will discuss and negotiate these needs to the comfort of his property. Should this be uncomfortable for the property, the Owner shall refer the requesting s-type to another D- type for care.
4.3. If the Owner is pulled away from his property, then he has the right to request an agreed upon D-type to be responsible for his property.
4.4. The Owner will only become involved with the finances of the property when explicitly asked; otherwise it is the responsibility of the property to manage their money appropriately.
4.5. If the property is ill, it is the responsibility of the Owner to care for the property.
4.6. The Owner will do everything within the Owner’s power to train, educate, instruct, shape, and mold the property into best submissive possible.
4.7. The Owner shall read the property’s journal on a regular basis and agrees to not punish the property for anything posted therein.
4.8. The Owner agrees to work with the property on any new interests that the property discovers.
4.9. Whereas both parties will be working outside the home, the Owner and the property shall share in housework as enumerated by the Owner.
4.10. Whereas the Owner believes that family is important, the Owner will not keep the property from staying in touch with their family and will not unreasonably withhold trips for the property to visit their family.
4.11. Whereas the Owner believes that friends and a social support system is important, the Owner will not keep the property from staying in touch with their friends and family support system and will not unreasonably withhold trips or social time for the property to visit their friends and support system.
4.12. Whereas the Owner believes that community service important, the Owner will not keep the property from participating in community service.
Section 5: General Expectations of the property
5.1. Everything the property says and does is a reflection on the property and their Owner. In a larger scale, it also represents the community as a whole in non-Kinky settings. This means that the property must be mindful of their manners, behaviors, and dress at all times.
5.2. The property should use common sense and use good manners at all times.
5.3. The property accepts full responsibility for informing the Owner of any real or perceived dangers or safety concerns, but also agrees that the Owner’s decision will be final regarding these issues.
5.4. In general, the property must learn and accept all s-type behaviors as being normal, and learn to behave in a way that is natural-looking and feeling. Additionally, the property will always act and respond as if the Owner is correct in the orders that the
Owner gives. The property is forbidden to respond in any way that causes the appearance that the Owner has made an error.
5.5. The property is to learn to act naturally, with the same obedience, lack of negativity, and in coordination with actions of the Owner.
5.6. The property is to defer to Medium Protocol at all times unless otherwise negotiated.
5.7. The property shall keep a daily journal for reflection and process. The purpose of this journal is so that the property and the Owner can remain mindful of the power exchange and so that they are both able to grow and work through challenges together. The topics of the journaling may include but are not limited to – thoughts, concerns, what was learned, and possible new interests to explore.
5.8. The property shall bring and show honor and respect to the Owner at all times.
5.9. The property agrees to never remove ownership collar at any time.
5.10. The property shall make themselves available for use by the Owner in anyway the Owner desires at any time the Owner desires whenever feasible, within the terms of this contract.
5.11. The property shall not orgasm without permission from the Owner.
5.12. The property must continually work towards building trust and must show obedience, respect, and loyalty.
5.13. Service is defined as the act of servitude. The duty of service in this contract includes submitting to the Owner and the Owner’s requests.
5.14. Dishonestly in any form is cause for immediate release of ownership.
5.15. In public, it is the properties responsibility to insure that unwanted attention is not brought to the Owner or the property thus, careful mindfulness of behavior and manners is absolutely first and foremost.
Section 6: Communication
6.1. The Owner will be referred to as Sir/Ma’am at ALL TIMES.
6.2. The Owner shall not need permission to speak to their property.
6.3. When speaking with the Owner, every new thought begins with Sir/Ma’am. Thoughts are expressed clearly, succinctly, and without run-on.
6.4. When the property is already engaged in conversation with the Owner, they do not have to enter the Owner’s consciousness by saying “Sir/Ma’am?”
6.5. Property is to say “Yes Sir or Ma’am” or “Thank you Sir/Ma’am” every time they:
● Are given any order;
● Is told any piece of information, even if it doesn’t affect them, or;
● Have their speech or behavior corrected or explained
● Property may answer any “yes or no” questions by stating “yes/no, Sir/Ma’am” and will respond to an order to assume a position with only “yes, Sir or Ma’am” (example: the command – kneel – will be answered –”yes, Sir/Ma’am”)
6.6. Yes and No questions, will be asked in this manner:
6.7. If “Sir/Ma’am, May I ask a question?”
Wait for the Owner’s response (no matter how long it takes for a response). Say “Thank you Sir/Ma’am!”
the property feels the need to make a comment, they may ask:
“May I make a comment Sir/Ma’am?”
Await the Owner’s response
Respond “Thank you Sir/Ma’am!”
Make the comment, if question answered in the affirmative.
6.8. When the property feels a need for the Owner’s attention, the property may come into the Owner’s presence by:
- Presenting themselves
- Immediately asking only one time “Sir/Ma’am?”
- Await the Owner’s acknowledgment
- If asking a “yes” or “no” question saying, “Sir/Ma’am, do you wish your propertyto.”
- If asking to go to the bathroom, asking, “Sir/Ma’am, may I go to the WC/Loo/Ladies/ Restroom etc.?”
6.9. “I beg your pardon Sir or Ma’am” is the only way that the property may express accidental activities.
6.10. It is appropriate for the property to use “Beg your pardon Sir/Ma’am” in a crowd when they have bumped into someone.
6.11. “I beg your pardon Sir/Ma’am” is also the appropriate response when the property has not heard or clearly understood an order.
- Then the property may ask their question if the Owner’s response was affirmative
The property will say; “Thank You Sir/Ma’am!” only when they fully understand the explanation or order and when they feel the appreciation for having received it.
6.12. The property is free to speak between other s-types, even in the presence of their Owner, so long as it is not distracting, does not compete with what the Owner wants to express, can be immediately and easily interrupted by the owner interjecting, and doesn’t interfere with the position another s-type is currently holding.
6.13. Gossip is a form of disrespect, thus neither the Owner nor the property will participate in gossip or interact with others who do.
6.14. There will be NO public airing of conflicts. If the property is disgruntled with something, then it is their responsibility to discuss it with their Owner formally as negotiated. If necessary an agreed upon professional, such as a Kink Aware Therapist, will be named as a neutral.
Section 7: Expressing Dissatisfaction and Conflict
7.1. When the property is displeased, they are to wait to discuss it until the negotiated proper time. If the property is visibly upset, the property may ask permission to excuse themselves to a private area to self soothe and calm down. If the property does not have access to this space, they are to immediately go into high protocol until this space is available.
7.2. Once the property and the Owner are in their private space, the property may ask permission to air a grievance. The Owner will then decide whether the time is appropriate or not. Should the time be inappropriate the Owner will take responsibility to make an appropriate time to discuss the matter within a 24-hour period. The property is permitted to vent in their personal journal or seek an appointment with the agreed upon neutral. Once the time has been established, it is the expectation that both the Owner and the property will discuss the issues in a calm and healthy dialog. Neither the Owner nor the property has permission to yell or insult each other.
7.3. The Owner will correct the property in public if needed but will not degrade or insult the property. Mutual respect is a significant part of this power exchange.
7.4. The Owner agrees that property will not be punished for respectfully stating any concerns. The Owner further agrees to listen to property’s concerns with a clear and open mind. The Owner shall NEVER inflict physical harm upon the property, which might require the attention of someone outside the relationship.
7.5. The use of safe words, as expanded upon in 14.1, may be used by either party and WILL be respected. As emotional flooding can be dangerous when in conflict, these safe words are used for both play and conflict.
Section 8: Greeting Rules, Rituals and Protocols
8.1. As your Owner, property will refer to their Owner as Sir/Mistress unless otherwise told.
8.2. Eye contact with the Owner is encouraged at all time but will not be made with anyone but your Owner without permission.
8.3. When the property or Owner enters the room, the property must always come up to the Owner, kneel and kiss the feet of the Owner.
8.4. Should the property desire to leave the side of their Owner, the Property must ask permission prior to doing so.
8.5. D-types require a proper greeting. If for some reason you are unsure of the proper address, then ask how the D-type prefers to be addressed. Failing to show courtesy for others is to show YOU do not have proper manners.
8.6. Never touch others without permission. This includes sexual, play, or hugging as a greeting. Exceptions will be negotiated prior to any changes made.
Section 9: Dress Code
9.1. The Owner has the right to dictate the attire of his property at any time. This request may include a particular garment, clothing style, or lack thereof.
9.2. It is considered appropriate for the property to wear a Collar that denotes their status. A Collar can be made of metal, leather, or other material and is most commonly seen on the neck, wrists, or ankle. The Owner is requesting that his property have at least one Collar denoting their as owned at all times without exception. The Owner will supply the property with a number of Collar choices but he is to be the one to remove or place such Collar on his property. If the owner requests a specific Collar, the property will honor that request.
Section 10: Personal Hygiene and Care
10.1. The property is expected to maintain a high level of self-care. This includes regular medical and dental checkups. Prior to any major change in diet or exercise, the property must ask permission. The Owner does not condone radical programs and expects that the property will not partake in ANY behavior that may cause harm to said property.
10.2. The property is to ask permission prior to any decision involving the hairstyle or any permanent markings or piercings on the body of the property.
10.3. The property is to keep their appearance neat and clean at all times and outside of illness is expected to be dressed to impress the Owner.
Section 11: Home Coming Protocols and Rituals
11.1. This ritual is something to help set the ultimate mood in the household.
11.2. The property may have a job of great responsibility outside of the Owner’s house, but in the end it is the Owner’s collar that they wear. As such, to help the property go from being in charge to being property, the Owner expects them to completely undressed in the bedroom after they arrive home from work, kneel before the Owner, and kiss the Owner’s feet. The property will then prepare for atonement of the Owner’s choosing. This atonement may be anything from a spanking to a form of sexual worship. This ritual will also help bring the property’s thought processes back to where they need to be, focused on the Owner and servitude.
11.3. Should the property find that they are having a hard time switching to s-mode, or cannot relax, It is expected that the property communicate this with the Owner so that the owner may help the property enter into the right mindset.
11.4. Should there be a case where the Owner is not at the home to be greeted, the property is to go to the bedroom, get undressed and meditate on the property’s knees for 5 minutes. The Owner expects that the property will be “on” and ready to serve on the Owner’s rival home.
Section 12: Meal Protocols and Rituals
12.1. The property will prepare and serve the Owner’s meal first, and then ask permission to eat before beginning theirs.
12.2. The property will eat their meals at the Owner’s feet unless permitted otherwise.
12.3. When in a public, non-Kink environment the Owner will order the properties meal and the property will wait to begin until the Owner grants permission.
12.4. The property will act accordingly, understanding that they will function in a non- Kinky manner, yet always remember their place within the Owner’s Household. The property will speak to others with respect and continue to call the Owner Sir/Ma’am. They will ask permissions privately if possible.
Section 13 Bed Time Protocols and Rituals
13.1. At home and unless otherwise instructed, the property is to remain by the side of the owner or at the Owner’s feet at all times. Should the property find that they are in need of an earlier bedtime than the Owner, the property may ask permission to go to bed early. 13.2. The property is not permitted to wear clothing to bed.
13.3. The owner will tuck the property in each night with a kiss on both wrists and our mantra of:
O: Who do you belong to? p: You, Sir.
O: Where is your home? p: Sanctuary, Sir.
O: Where is Sanctuary?
p: By your side, Sir.
13.4. If the property is away from their Owner, the property is expected to kiss her wrists, and text exchange the mantra with the Owner.
13.5. If there has been some disagreement that has been only partially resolved, the property may not sleep elsewhere within the house. Disagreements are never permission to abandon the Owner or the property.
Section 14: Safe Words
14.1. The color code system of Green, Yellow and Red will be respected even during consent of non-consent play. In addition, the safe word for the immediate stop of all activity is ___________. Both parties may use and WILL respect this boundary. As emotional flooding can be dangerous when in conflict, these safe words are used for both play and conflict.
Section 15: Banned Activities
15.1. Under no circumstance is the property allowed to engage in any form of play with anyone else without the Owner’s express permission.
15.2. The property is not allowed to engage in sexual play (intercourse or any other kind) without previous consent from the Owner. The property is allowed to masturbate as much as they wish, but the standing rule is they are NOT allowed to cum without permission from the Owner.
15.3. Owner shall not leave permanent marks on property
Section 16: Punishment
16.1. With all things, there can be punishment for failure to do something correctly. Punishments will vary on a case-by-case basis; repeated failure will receive an increasingly stronger punishment.
16.2. Negotiated Punishments may include:
● Writing of sentences
● Ordered periods of High Protocol
● Restriction of Pleasurable activities such as orgasm or play dates
● Restriction from sweets
This list is a soft list and may be altered based upon negotiation.
16.3. The Owner shall inform the property of the reason for any punishment. Periodically during the punishment, the Owner will remind the property the reason for the punishment although that can come from the property in the form of “Why are you being punished?” with an appropriate response from the property.
16.4. The property shall count each stroke when being punished by flogging, caning, etc. and also must thank the Owner following each stroke.
Section 17: Repair
17.1. At times, the Owner may also make mistakes, which will require repair with the property. The need for repair will be a mutual decision between the property and the Owner.
17.2. The following items are forms of repair:
● Taking the property on a shopping trip
● Taking the property on a trip with The Owner
● The Owner may take the property on a special date
This list is a soft list and may be altered based upon negotiation.
Section 18: Illness and Injury
18.1. It is of the utmost importance that the property takes care of themselves. Thus if the property is sick, the properties only responsibility is to rest, take their medication, and follow their health provider.
18.2. Should the property have a permanent injury or illness, then appropriate accommodations will be made between the Owner and the property which still support the dynamic.
Section 19: Signatures
Owner ________________________________ Property _______________________________