Have you ever felt that feeling of cloistered peace within a night’s rest, listening to the drifting wind or the soothing rain? That warm sensation that you are watched over, safe and not alone? Perhaps the comforting cuddling of another, despite the struggles and turmoils of the day by day. This elusive ideal sensation of peacetime, of relaxation. It should belong to all, as it astronomically improves one’s well being, and attitude towards life. But what is one to do in the cold, when there is no other to aid in this feeling?
Perhaps it may be received as juvenile, rejected, or unsettling, but the positive results are positively undeniable. The solution is to cuddle inanimate, comfortable objects in the absence of another. Sometimes, it is even more advantageous to cuddle inanimate objects in the presence of another partner. Why is this the case? There are two answers to this question, however. The secular advantage, in the chemical balance of the body, or perhaps the more personal perspective from that of one’s own actions.
Examining the secular advantage to inanimate cuddling is the simple act of endorphin stimulation. The comforting touch of another, be it inanimate or otherwise, is of a healing process that aids in the reinforcement of safe feelings. This act of routine or occasional relaxation provides a necessary reprieve from the day to day stresses of the singular individual. Although it may seem tacky, it allows one to revisit the instinctive comforts of youth and safety, and allows for a better sense of security overall. The continuous, unchecked anxiety of the individual unconcerned for their own wellbeing can be detrimental to daily life, so it is imperative to keep the anxiety in check and take care of it.
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When looking from the personal experience perspective, the advantage of such cuddling and relief, be it an object or person, is not totally obvious. Some find it warm, unsettling, or perhaps lack the experience of such practice. But it cannot be denied the relief when, faced with monstrous and overwhelming obstacles, that one simple hug from the correct individual may grant one the strength to persevere and continue to provide their best in the trials ahead. That correct hug, that promise of safety, can be provided by something like a doll or teddy as well if preferred.
There is nothing shameful or condemnable about self-help. It is the responsibility of yourself to tend to yourself and enjoy life’s wonders and enchanting moments, even in spite of the seemingly inescapable lows of life. No matter the person, the tools, or the object, it is important to care for your wellbeing, in any way possible. What have you to lose?
Dispensary Etiquette: What You Need To Know?
For the ones going to the cannabis dispensary for the first time, the experience can turn out to be unsettling. Even though cannabis has umpteen number of benefits for both recreational and medical users, the knowledge regarding what exactly to buy shall elude you.
Besides, cannabis has always had a stigma around its use for either purpose for a long time, across generations. Hence, even though many US states have legalized its use, there is bound to arise that sense of intimidation when you first step into a cannabis dispensary store. For the managers and owners of the dispensaries, the essential idea is to assist the customers well and good.
This article shall take you through some dispensary etiquette that shall come in handy as a dispensary audience. It will also serve a purpose to gain insights into how the dispensary can help the regular dispensary for their better knowledge going further.
Awareness About The Local Laws
The laws concerning cannabis and its products are always changing from time to time. The amount one can sell or possess differ from one State to another. Thus, this makes it imperative for the dispensary to be aware of the current scenario of law and legalities concerning cannabis. Growing cannabis has also become possible due to the recent amendments in the law in a few States.
It is always better to stay on the safer side of the law. Remaining up to date with ever-changing rules and regulations about cannabis dispensation shall help the dispensary managers immensely. To attain this, a few investigative readings into the recreational and medical use aspects can be highly useful.
The presence of security guards at the entrance of the dispensary can be intimidating for novice visitors. They can mistake these guards as police officers patrolling the area. Due to the looming fear, these visitors might eventually leave and avoid coming to the store altogether. Hence, it is imperative to make sure the guards are welcoming while handling their jobs.
Their demeanor should be able to convince the customers of safety and comfortability. To avoid any mishap, the security guards also ought to make sure no one is carrying weapons in the store. Besides the security checkpoint at the store, the guards also need to remain vigilant to ensure the orderly handling of business.
The dispensary maintains a check-in area outside the shopping space for the customers. It ensures that the visitors of the dispensary are carrying the necessary paperwork and documents for a smooth transaction. In the case of States legalizing medical cannabis, the presence of at least a State ID to validate identification and a doctor’s recommendation for the prescription is deemed necessary.
To properly facilitate the process, it is significant to focus that this area is sufficiently operated. The low workforce at this point can lead to excessive delays, which the customers would not appreciate. Hence, the motive should be to cater to the requirements set for the purchase of cannabis and ensure the best possible experience for the visitors.
The novice visitors to the dispensary lookout for the staff that might help them in choosing the right product. Even the ones with the experience of buying cannabis come up with questions that need informative answering. Thus it is cardinal to employ such staff who can address the queries of the customers well.
Not only shall they help select the right product but will also enable the visitors to know about the specific effects of different strains. The staff should also make sure that they recommend the customers based on their tolerance levels and needs. This kind of attention and care is especially important in the case of concentrates and edibles.
A study suggests that cannabis has a wide range of therapeutic benefits to the body. Being able to convey these to the customers on inquiry shall enable them to make informed decisions. Hence, even though it is the customer that takes the final call, the guidance of the staff turns out to be of high significance.
Proper parking space comes as a point of necessary consideration for the dispensary. Most of the people visiting the dispensary arrive in cars/vehicles. The entire process of showcasing relevant documents at the check-ins by the customers, enquiring about the products, and finally buying the appropriate one can take some time. Hence, it becomes imperative to arrange for the parking of vehicles.
Not only will this ensure the avoidance of traffic jams but will also help prevent the blocking of roads and nuisance for the public. However, there have been cases where the parking lots at dispensaries tend to become places for cannabis consumption. If this happens, the dispensary can even lose its license, if found out by the patrolling officers.
Moreover, it is not safe for drivers to consume cannabis before driving. In some states, it is illegal to distribute cannabis. Sharing it with friends or family members in the parking space can also turn out to be illegal in this respect. This shall further increase the amount of fine and penalties that arise. Thus, the proper guarding of the parking space carries a lot of significance.
Generally, there is not much harm in clicking pictures of cannabis products. Most people might do it for their social media handles. However, due to the security concerns, there is a prohibition on clicking photographs inside the dispensary. As per an article, some of the managers running the dispensaries contend that there have been cases where the visitors click pictures to check where the camera locations are.
In these cases, the instances of attempts at theft and shoplifting might arise. However, it is highly crucial to make sure that the behavior of the staff at the dispensary is polite to the customers. You do not want them to never come back to your store after the ongoing visit. Thus, make sure you bring the rules of the dispensary to notice of the consumers coherently.
The presence of a notice board laying down the rules and procedure of buying the products can be of enormous help. This shall also bring down the instances of improper administration of the dispensary. All these points show that the management of cannabis dispensary requires due care and planning for it to function well.
Therefore, make sure you follow these etiquettes thoroughly and strengthen your dispensary’s image in the market.
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Here is one exercise to begin developing positive self-talk:
Write down some of the negative messages inside your mind. Be specific, whenever possible, and include anyone you remember who contributed to that message.
Next, to those negative messages write down a positive truth in your life. Don’t give up if you don’t find them quickly. For every negative message there is positive, keep looking until you find them.
For example, you might write, when you make a mistake, you think, “I can’t do anything right.” Right beside that negative statement, your positive message could be, “I accept my mistake and am becoming a better person.”
Positive self-talk is not self-deception, positive self-talk is about the truth, in situations and in yourself. When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Ethical Non-Monogamy Reading for Professionals
Ethical Slut, Dossie Easton and Cathrine A. Liszt (Greenery Press, 2004). This book is a philosophical and practical handbook for those who are interested in exploring theca non- monogamy.
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2008). This book is an introduction to the concept of open relationships discussed the difficulties and benefits of this exploration for couples.
Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic, Raven Kaldera (Alfred Press, 2010). This book is a practical guide in how to maneuver both polyamory and power exchange relationships.
Swinging for Beginners: An Introduction to the Lifestyle, Kaye Bellemeade (New Tradition Books, 2008). This book is a fantastic introduction for anyone interested in trying out swinging.
What Does Polyamory Look Like?: Polydiverse Patterns of Loving and Living in Modern Polyamorous Relationships, Mim Chapman (iUniverse.com, 2012). This book is an examination of polyamory culture, polyamory movement, and the modern views of open relationships.
COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Difficult Conversations, Doug Stone (Penguin Books, 2000). The book is one of the best resources for combatting anxiety-provoking conversations. It provides tools and strategies for individuals who struggle with having emotional conversations.
Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton (Penguin, 1991). This book is an excellent negotiation resource. It gives the fundamentals and tactics for negotiation and introduces the concepts of need vs. Principle.
The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships Kathy Labriola (Greenery Press, 2013). This is a good practical resource for couples and individuals who are struggling with jealousy.
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships, John Gottman and Joan DeClaire (Harmony, 2002). This book is an introduction to the research, science and practical understand of what makes relationships successful and how to better communicate.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Power Exchange Reading for Professionals
After her seemingly perfect world came crashing down Chloe Donnovan was faced with a crisis of identity. In a bold attempt to start life over in a more authentic way, she confessed her darkest secret, a desire to submit to her husband Leo. The two set off on a year of information, exploration, and sexual experimentation that will either breathe new life into the relationship or lead to their final demise. Darling Discovered: A True Story of Submission explores issues of trust, self-acceptance, and healing, set amongst the sandy beaches of Florida in an emotional and pleasurable read. Winner of 2015 BDSM Writer’s Con in Non-Fiction Category.
Assimilation: Tales of Transformation and Surrender, Bootbush (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2012). A collection of stories that discus a variety of BDSM play including water sports and puppy play.
BDSM Mastery – Basics: Your Guide to Play, Parties, and Scene Protocols, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (2014). This is an excellent book for BDSM beginners on navigating the social and play aspects of the BDSM lifestyle.
Bootblacking 101: A Handbook, Andrew Diarmid (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2007). This book is an excellent introduction and resource to understanding the practice and protocols of bootblacking in the fetish and Kink community.
Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and Do It Safely, Bill Henkin (Daedalus Publishing Company, 1996). This introduction focuses on defining the language of Kink in an accessible manner.
The Age Play and Diaper Fetish Handbook. Penny Barber (Lulu.com, 2011). This book is an excellent handbook for those individuals who are interested in exploring age play and diaper fetishes.
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Philip Miller and Molly Devon (Mystic Rose Books 1995). This book is an excellent introduction to BDSM and covers a variety of topics including safety and basic skills.
Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé, Lee Harrington (Mystic Productions Press, 2015). . . This book is a great Japanese beginner’s guide to rope play.
Skin Tight: Rubbermen, Macho Fetish and Fantasy, Tim Brough (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2007). This book is an excellent exploration to the world of rubber and rubber fetish.
The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies, Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press, 2004). A quick reference guide for handling emergencies both big and small.
BDSM Mastery-Relationships: A Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissive, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (Red Eight Ball Press, 2015). This handbook is a good resource for the development and nurturing of the power exchange relationship.
Care and Nurture for the Submissive – A Must Read for Any Woman in a BDSM Relationship (Women’s Guide to BDSM), Elizabeth Cramer (Amazon Kindle, 2013). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as an s-type and are looking for a way to articulate and understand what expectations they may need to negotiate in their power exchange relationships.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 2: 25 Things You Must Know Before Doing Anything Else, Elisabeth Cramer (2013). This 2nd volume by Cramer to help new D-types grow in their relationships.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 3: How to Use These 31 Everyday Objects to Train Your New Sub for Ultimate Pleasure & Excitement, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). The 3rd book by Cramer which guides new D-types in the use of pervertables in play and training.
Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training: Step-By-Step Blueprint on How to Train Your New Sub. A Must Read for Any Dom/Master in a BDSM Relationship, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). . . This is an excellent resource guide for new D-types in a power exchange relationship who are looking for a guide on mentoring an s-type.
Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook, Michael Makai (Createspace, 2013). This book is an excellent resource in discussing the exploration, trails, and rewards of the power exchange relationship.
Extreme Space: The Domination and Submission Handbook, F.R.R. Mallory (Unbound Books, 2013). A guide for those who are interested in exploring and owning their sexuality in terms of BDSM and alternative relationships.
Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships, Dan and Dawn Williams (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2011). This book provides a real life account of living a TPE relationship.
The Loving Dominant, John Warren (Greenery Press, 2000). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as a D-type in a power exchange relationship but do not hold high sadistic tendencies. This is especially important for those who desire a loving and nurturing D/s.
Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household, Machele Kindle (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2011). A detailed explanation of establishing M/s households including sample contracts.
Master and Submissive or Slave Contract, Phil G. (Smashwords Edition, 2014). . . This book is an excellent resource for those individuals who are wanting an outline for a BDSM contract.
Master/Slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice, Robert J Rubel and Jay Wiseman (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2006). This book offers a good 101 to the power exchange relationship.
Dr. Harmony’s Recommended Reading for an Introduction to Kink for Professionals
Working with Kinky Clients: A Clinicians’ Manual
With the advent of the Internet, those who participate in alternative forms of relationship, gender, and sexual expression have come together as a community and have created a new sexual minority subculture.
The clinical needs of this community are different than the traditional mental health client and it is important for all mental health clinicians and healthcare providers to be familiar with the standard of care that may be different in the varied populations that make up this community. This document is the accompanying manual for a pilot Kink Aware Therapy Certification educational program, and it offers a fundamental working knowledge and important clinical considerations and interventions in the treatment of this population based upon one clinician’s experiences, the current research, and community literature.
This companion text also reinforces the growing need for an educational program for mental health and medical providers and further clinical research with this population.
50 Shades of Kink, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a helpful handbook and beginner’s guide to Kinky play and for those who are into impact play but are nervous about safety and protocol.
As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM, Shanna Germain (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a good KINK 10 to BDSM play with the emphasis in safety and consent.
Playing Around: A Short Introduction to Kink for the Curious, Charlie Hale (Charlie Hale, 2014). Available for free at http://playingaround.charliehale.net, this book is an easy Kink 101 book for couples interested in just getting the basics down.
Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures, Peggy J. Kleinplatz and Charles Moser (Harrington Park Press, 2006). A collection of essays by researches in a variety of fields helps to dispel the myths surround SM and those who engage in it. A great read for those interested in BDSM personally as well as mental health professionals, students, and researchers.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and The Erotic Edge, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2012). This book is an anthology from Kink educators around the world that covers everything from fantasy play to BDSM play. This is an excellent read for those just starting out because it has a diverse flavor of activities from mild to intense and offers a good exploration of Kinky play and fantasy options.
Our Dark Side: A History of Perversion, Élisabeth Roudinesco (Polity Press, 2009). A historical look at how societies have handle sexuality since the Middle Ages.
KINK COMMUNITIES AND CULTURE
Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community, Elizabeth Kennedy and Madeline D. Davis (Penguin Books, 1993). This in depth history and examination of the lesbian community of Buffalo, NY between 1930’2-1960’s combines 13 years of research.
Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, Mark Thompson (Daedalus Publishing, 2004). This book is an excellent historical collection of papers and essays on the history of the leather subculture.
Life by Association: Getting Furry, Joseph Santiago and Lina Clark (Santiago, Inc. 2012). This book is a memoir of self-discovery and exploration of the furry community.
Life, Leather and The Pursuit of Happiness: Life, History and Culture in The Leather/Bdsm/Fetish Community, Steve Lenius (Nelson\Borhek#press, 2010). This book is an anthology of selections from Steve Lenius’s 15 years as the writer of “Leather Life” for Lavender Magazine as well other writings which give readers a fun inside exploration into the leather community
Furries: A Guide to Anthropomorphism, C.D. Overstreet (CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015). This book is an excellent handbook for professionals, furries and the furry curious which explores the mysticism, the psychology, sexuality, and the science behind it all.
Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities, Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams (Greenery Press, 2012). This book is an ethnographic study and exploration of the Kink community itself rather than a how-to.
Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities, David Ortman and Richard A. Sprott (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2012). The book serves as an educational resource for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM play and the Kink community. It explores the struggles and dispels myths that are perpetuated by popular culture and the media.
Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá (Harper, 2010). This book is an analysis of ethnographic and scientific research of mono-sexuality and poly-sexuality in the field of sexual anthropology