Sex Research with Nicole Prause – Ep 99 American Sex Podcast

Nicole Prause, Ph.D. gives us an eye-opening view into the world of a sex researcher. We learn about the latest sexuality research like brain hacking to normalize sexual desire, scientific sex product research, and the very specific laboratory definition of an orgasm that surprisingly fails to line up with what many of us experience in […]

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Source: spa

Sexuality in Color: Euphoria

If anyone had told me when I was younger that thirty-something Chanté would be binge-watching teenage television dramas in 2019, I sure would have been surprised. But I also wouldn’t have predicted there’d be something to watch like Euphoria, HBO’s new teen drama released just in time for summer.

The first thing that hit me was the main character, Rue, played by the one and only Zendaya: she reminded me of myself and some of my friends I grew up with back in Iowa. The list of our similarities is longer than our differences. Like me, Rue is a cisgender, biracial girl being raised in a single-parent household in the middle of white suburbia. She’s also the eldest daughter and a protective big sister with a small chip on her shoulder. Rue’s independent mind and her strongwilled nature remind me most of myself. I relate to her slight defiance, especially as someone who also was very much an independent thinker who often resisted the popular opinions of my high school peers.

Our subtle differences (like the fact that her father is absent due to him dying, while mine was incapable of taking care of us due to his own substance abuse) didn’t really get in the way of me relating to Rue’s narrative and those of the rest of the cast. In fact, there were many subnarratives that felt super familiar to me and compelled me to continue watching.

I was excited to see what would unfold as Rue shared more of her mixed girl narrative.

I know how important it is for brown and Black young people to see characters who look like them, and I know how much I longed for someone who looked like me and had a not-so-perfect home life to tell the rest of the world what it can actually like to be a biracial teenage girl. When I was seventeen, I craved raw honesty about what it meant to grow up in a place where kids were isolated but also privileged. I also secretly hoped someone would be brave enough to share what it meant to be a little unruly, and how easy it was to be enticed by drugs, alcohol, house parties and sex.

At the end of the day, I just remember wanting an alternative to the whitewashed narratives that were constantly being rerun on TV. I grew up during an era when shows like “My So-Called Life”, “Saved By The Bell”, “Dawson’s Creek” and “The Real World” were constantly playing in the background. None of those shows were a true depiction of what was really happening in my life. I brushed them off and didn’t really take any of them seriously.

I recently came across this article — Euphoria And The Black Girl’s Coming Of Age — by Zeba Blay: she shared feelings about Euphoria that really resonated with me:

The dearth of coming-of-age stories about black girls is heavily predicated on the fact that, so often, black girls aren’t given the space to even be girls. They’re often hyper-sexualized from an early age, and if they take the initiative to be intentional about exploring their sexuality, they’re deemed as “fast.” Unlike white teens, black girls are rarely given room to mess up, to make mistakes, to grow. Rue is a game-changing character in this sense because she is, by her own admission, the ultimate fuck-up. Since the story is told from her point of view, we’re put in a position where we can empathize with her.

Rue runs the narrative, indeed. But it’s also powerful that Rue’s story isn’t simply the main story ― the lives of the other characters are also under her control. This storytelling approach further cements her importance, her necessity, her voice.

That sums up a lot of why I’m so excited about the potential of this series. We finally have access to a more honest first-person narrative led by someone who doesn’t have blue eyes and blonde hair and who isn’t growing up in a picture-perfect home tucked away in a gated community. While some viewers may not relate to Rue ethnically or racially, there’s a big chance many viewers will relate to the realities of growing up in a single-parent household or being a teenager (or having a friend) who’s struggling to overcome addiction.

Every single episode is packed with typical coming-of-age themes: sex, gender, high school drama and gossip, relationships, experimentation with drugs, beauty standards, conflicts with parents and so on. But even these familiar themes don’t feel so predictable in this context. The rawness and the intersectionality of Euphoria seem to have the potential for relating to a wider range of teenagers and young adult viewers. Paired with the rich backstories we were introduced to in this first season, there are plenty of opportunities for this series to exhibit the true diversity of the characters and to explore even very traditional themes in very non-traditional ways.

I believe that honest narratives beget honest conversations among young people, which is what we need whenever we’re talking about core parts of our identity. I think they also allow us to feel more empathy and compassion with our own intersectionalities and more importantly, with those of others, which are usually more difficult to relate to.

Hats off to the writers, producers, directors and the cast who’ve done an excellent job so far of showing us it is possible to capture the tenderness of adolescence while still being honest and making space for its characters to explore, experiment and evolve. I didn’t think it was possible to lure me back to teenage drama, but Euphoria has proven otherwise. I’m totally a fangirl and am very impatiently waiting for season two!

Author: 
Chanté Thurmond

Source: spa

What Is Polyamory and Why Is It Gaining Popularity?

Mens Health

“But how many people are actually polyamorous? It’s tough to gauge the numbers, but it’s currently estimated that 4 to 5 percent of people living in the United States are polyamorous—or participating in other forms of open relationships—and 20 percent of people have at least attempted some kind of open relationship at some point in their lives. Those numbers, however, are likely to increase, as a 2016 YouGov study, found that only half of millennials (defined as under 30-years-old) want a “completely monogamous” relationship.

So what exactly is polyamory? How does it differ from open relationships? And why are we seeing a rise in interest and practice? Let’s break it down.”

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Source: ncsf

Leather: Collective Compersion – Expanding our erotic lexicon

Bay Area Reporter

“It seems that every day the word compersion makes its way further into daily discourse. While its usage is by no means pervasively common, at least not yet, I’ve noticed it being uttered verbally or in print much more often lately. While mainstream dictionaries have yet to adopt and define the word as part of our standard lexicon, its use in everyday life appears to be here to stay.”

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Source: ncsf

The Psychology of Sexual Kink

The Swaddle

“The kink sexual preference is a greatly stigmatized one, and the psychology behind it misunderstood. Kink is believed to stem out of trauma, which is false; it’s perceived to bastardize the tender idea of making love, again false; and it’s considered ‘freaky’ and ‘not normal,’ guess: false. Understanding how kink develops and what kinky people get out of it are initial steps toward normalizing an integral aspect of human sexuality.”

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Source: ncsf

What Kind of People Enjoy BDSM?

Psychology Today

“Italian researchers recently surveyed the sexuality of 266 Italian men and women who enjoy bondage, discipline, and sado-masochism (BDSM). The study population ranged in age from 18 to 74 and averaged 41. The researchers also surveyed 200 demographically similar men and women not involved in BDSM. The two groups reported similar feelings about their sexuality, but the BDSM players reported less sexual distress and greater erotic satisfaction. The researchers said they hoped their study would ‘reduce the stigma associated with BDSM.'”

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Source: ncsf

Champagne club allowed to remain open

Fort Wayne’s NBC

The future of a swingers club was up in the air at Tuesday’s council meeting. A vote Tuesday night on a proposed ordinance that aimed to declare live sex act businesses a nuisance, saying they “contribute to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.”

There is one swingers club currently operating in Fort Wayne, the Champagne Club on Nuttman Ave.

If the ordinance had passed , the club would have been forced to close. Some councilmen said the facts given to the council weren’t strong enough to prove swingers clubs posed a health risk to the community.

After an intense and extensive council meeting the swingers club ordinance was dismissed. The vote was 3-3 and councilmen Ensley abstained from voting. Therefore the swingers club can operate as it has been.

It was standing room only in Tuesday’s council meeting as members of the swingers club lined the back of the room. An attorney for the club gave the council stats about the Champagne Club.

The attorney said there are 15,281 individual members with 19% of those being residents of Fort Wayne. In order to be part of the club the attorney says you have to pay to be a member, and pass a background check. Everyone brings their own alcohol, the doors are always locked, and there are no windows to the establishment. The attorney added that the club brings an economic benefit for the community saying they estimate $5-$10 million in tourism revenue.

One swinger says there is a misconception of what actually happens at a swingers club.

“You go there, you meet lifestyle members, like minded members. It’s just a fun place, a safe place it’s just a fun place to be at. A lot of dancing, a lot of flirting, a lot of love,” he said.

Some councilmen said the Champagne Club puts Fort Wayne in a bad light. While others argued that those who go the the swingers clubs are grown adults making their own decisions. Throughout the discussion of the ordinance morality was talked about extensively.

“I don’t think government should be involved. Once I draw that line saying this person’s morality is better than that person’s where do I stop,” said John Crawford.

“I, in good conscience, can not be an advocate and use the weight of my position to advocate for something I think is immoral. I am also very interested in limited government and I didn’t feel comfortable using the authority and force of government,” said Paul Ensley.

“You have to draw the distinction. Is it morality that affects the public at large, verses not? My morality might be different than others, and when it comes to just a strictly moral decision it’s a slippery slope if you start making those decisions purely on morality,” said Michael Barranda. …

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NCSF sent the following letter to all of the Fort Wayne City Council Members on July 30, 2019:

Dear City Council Members,

I am writing on behalf of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom which consists of 92 Coalition Partners that are groups, clubs and events. We are writing in support of Champagne Club, a private membership club with strict rules of admission. It is not a business that is open to the general public, so people don’t walk in off the street. The members’ personal information is taken with their membership application, so everyone is on record and agrees to the rules before entering the club.

There have been no issues with the Champagne Club, which means there is no reason for the City Council to oppose this club on the grounds of public safety. If you object because of moral reasons, then you personally shouldn’t join this club—however, City Councilmembers aren’t elected to impose your own morality on others. That is for each adult to determine for themselves.

Adult lifestyle events are not rare. According to a YouGov report (September 23 – 25, 2016) 39% of the respondents said they were not completely monogamous. These consenting adults need to be able to access private groups in order to obtain education about consent, communication and relationships. These events generate a great deal of revenue and repeat business for hotels and their local communities, and have done so for decades because the events are vigilant in complying with state and local laws concerning nudity and other forms of sexual intimacy. We do not believe in exposing anyone non-consensually to lifestyle activities.

We would like to work with you to ensure this club can continue and would like to discuss how we can address any concerns you might have. I look forward to working with you to resolve this issue.

My best,

Susan Wright
NCSF Chairperson

 

 

Source: ncsf

Non-consensual Pelvic Exams: Amy Jo Goddard – Ep 98 American Sex Podcast

It’s legal in the majority of the US for medical students to perform educational pelvic exams on patients without their knowledge. Amy Jo Goddard has been working for years to put a stop to this practice and is producing a documentary on the issue called At Your Cervix. In this conversation, she tells us how […]

The post Non-consensual Pelvic Exams: Amy Jo Goddard – Ep 98 American Sex Podcast appeared first on Sunny Megatron – Sex Educator. If you are reading this on any site other then an RSS feed, this site is scraping my content. My posts appearance here is not an endorsement of this site. It is also likely here without my permission. Sunny Megatron

Source: spa

Leveling Up Your Dating Game with Shannon Boodram – Ep 97 American Sex Podcast

Level up your dating game with Shannon Boodram! Screw those dating books filled with pick up artist techniques to trick potential mates. Shan’s dating advice is more like “dating therapy”… and you need it! We talk about the importance of addressing emotional intelligence before you start swiping on Tinder. Shan tells us why knowing you […]

The post Leveling Up Your Dating Game with Shannon Boodram – Ep 97 American Sex Podcast appeared first on Sunny Megatron – Sex Educator. If you are reading this on any site other then an RSS feed, this site is scraping my content. My posts appearance here is not an endorsement of this site. It is also likely here without my permission. Sunny Megatron

Source: spa