Who decides what a group of queer individuals should look like? How do other queers intuit what is “appropriate” and what is not? Matthew J. Phillips, a writer and literature professor, saw the danger in those tweets above: “To argue—falsely—that [seeing BDSM gear] is a violation of your consent is to argue that the public sphere must be policed and certain expressions of behavior and sexuality excluded,” Phillips wrote. The argument in favor of respectability politics at Pride events is quintessential, Phillips says, of the “cis-hetero-patriarchy”—a powerful social apparatus that legislates what is normal and what is not among sexuality and expression. It’s similarly depressing to see LGBTQ+ individuals using children as rhetorical props, since an imagined threat to children has been, for centuries, the easiest way to convince the public to dehumanize queer people.