NCSF Thanks! – 1st Quarter Donation Report

Thank you to Leather SINS, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $10,000 to NCSF at Kinky Kollege Spring Break in Chicago on March 31st!


NCSF thanks Jaiya, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,670 to the NCSF Foundation altogether in the first quarter of 2019!


NCSF thanks Mistress Lucille, an NCSF Supporting Member, for donating $1,500 raised at Lucille Ballbuster’s Birthday Bash in January.


Thank you to New Mexico Leather League, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $1,051 as their annual CP fundraiser in January.


Thank you to Marc DePaul for donating $1,000 to the NCSF Foundation in February!


NCSF thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $800 to the NCSF Foundation since December 2018!


Thank you Adventures in Sexuality, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $395 that was raised in their “Special Drawing” at Winter Wickedness in February. Thank you also to the attendees for donating $213 at the NCSF table for our Coffee & Consent service. A grand total of $608 was raised for NCSF at this year’s Winter Wickedness!


NCSF thanks Modern Tribe Counseling, an NCSF Coalition Partner which provides in person and distance counseling for our community in GA and FL, for donating $250 for the SouthEast Consent Summit.


NCSF thanks Ms. Martha’s Corset Shoppe for donating $250 to our SouthEast Consent Summit in February.


Thank you to NLA Dallas, an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $187 in December as their Coalition Partner fundraiser.


Thank you to Sanctuary Studios for donating $131 in December to NCSF.


Thank you to Jaeleen Bennis and Bondassage for donating $100 to NCSF in February.

NCSF thanks The HardPink Sisterhood for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation on February 11, 2019 that is dedicated to the support of the SouthEast Consent Summit.


NCSF thanks Joel Gleason for donating $100 to the NCSF Foundation’s SouthEast Consent Summit.

Source: ncsf

Incident Reporting & Response – 1st Quarter 2019 report

NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 41 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in January, February and March 2019. This is down by over half compared to the 87 requests received in the 1st Quarter of 2018.

NCSF maintains the confidentiality of those who come to us for help, however we balance that need with the need to report the services we are providing and to provide the community with a record of where the need is the greatest.

Here is a breakdown of the cases we dealt with in the 1st Quarter of 2019:


24 groups requested assistance, slightly up from the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 7 groups were asking about presenters/organizers or reporting they had banned someone
• 5 groups asked for resources on dealing with a consent incident or proactively creating a consent policy or consent team for their event
• 3 people asked about how to deal with being banned by a group
• 2 groups needed information on dealing with defamation lawsuits
• 2 groups reported being outed to their landlord/HOA
• 1 group needed information about insurance
• 1 group reported discrimination when their hotel broke their contract
• 1 group needed release form language regarding law enforcement officers attending
• 1 group asking about nudity/sexually explicit materials
• 1 group needed a KAP attorney for incorporation and zoning


There were 8 requests by professionals or for referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, similar to the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 5 people needed referrals to kink and polyamory aware professionals, including an expert witness
• 3 professionals needed resources, research or journal references


4 requests, compared to 6 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 involved workplace discrimination because of kink or nonmonogamy
• 1 sex worker asked for a referral for an incorporation attorney


There were 3 requests for resources and information involving criminal legal matters, down from 16 requests in the 4th Quarter of 2018:

• 3 people requested resources and referrals for attorneys to assist in defending themselves against accusations of assault, violating Restraining Order, or involving their appeal.

Child Custody

There were 2 requests for resources and referrals for family court attorneys, down from 5 in the 4th Quarter and 11 in the 3rd Quarter of 2018:

• 1 involved a parent who is a sex worker
• 1 involved a parent who is polyamorous


Source: ncsf

Scarleteen Mix #9: Crushing It!

scarleteen mix # 8: strut your stuff (image of a a kickass pink flamingo totally feeling himself!)

Over the years, people writing into Scarleteen have asked a lot of questions about all kinds of crushing and crushes. Concerns about crushes have included all you’d expect: like worries about rejection if a crush is being pursued — and all the usual, dizzying do-I-or-don’t-I? — worries about crush-discovery with an iffy-crush, or when crushes put someone outside heterosexuality; how to make decisions while you’re under the influence of a crush. There’s been crushes on friends, teachers, dudes on the bus, that amazing girl, someone’s brother — awkward — someone else’s girlfriend (dammit), even on someone else’s persona. There’ve been so many worries that this delightful-but-also-agonizing feeling might never end or even just give you five minutes of peace ever again.

What even IS a crush? I think crushes can be like what some people say about being in love or about porn or about orgasm: kind of hard to define, but you’ll probably know it when you feel it. There’s more than one kind of crush — there’s the lusty-lovey kind, but also just the lusty kind or just the lovey kind, but THEN there’s also friend crushes, I-want-to-be-as-cool-as-they-are crushes, parent crushes, pet crushes, crushes on someone’s creative work and so many more AND then crushes that are more than one kind at once! There’s certainly more than one way of feeling when a person has a crush or is crushed on, and goodness knows there are a million different contexts in which we all experience crushes.

Most generally, I just define crushes as a strong — usually very strong — interest in, or attraction to, someone (or something), and usually someone you’re not already super-involved with or close to. I’d personally say that a lot of what limerence, or new relationship energy is, are people with a mutual crush who are now connecting. (Shazam! SUPERCRUSH POWERS ACTIVATE!)

I’m someone who tends to identify what a crush is or isn’t for me, though, by how I’m feeling: totally distracted, no matter how hard I try to focus on something else? Check. Feeling like my whole emotional center of gravity has gone all pear-shaped? Check. Finding that my thoughts seem to have a very singular focus? A singular focus I seem to keep making everything else about? A singular focus my friends might maybe be getting really, really sick of hearing about? Eeyup. Listening to some music, sometimes on endless repeat, that makes not-crushing-me cringe and crushing-me swoon? You know it. When was the last time that I went a whole day, or even a whole hour, without thinking abou— oh dear. Yep. I’m crushing out.

The good news and the bad news for all of us is that crushes — or at least the initial intensity of them — are usually temporary. We won’t always feel that way, which, in my mind, is pretty equal parts bummer and massive relief. But whatever does or doesn’t come of crushes, whatever their shape or size, and however long they hang around for, it can be amazing and life-affirming to just let yourself fully experience the way they feel and go with it for a while.

If you want some crush-based or crush-adjacent bits to read, might I suggest:

Are you now or have you ever been floating and gooey or jangly and excited or blissed out or feeling downright tortured or just plain imploding from the giant wave of what even are all these freakishly distracting feelings? There’s a song here for that: even if you haven’t ever had a crush before you just might wind up feeling like you have one now.

This theme was super popular with our staff! Joining me this time around were Alice O., Alice M., Jacob, Siân, Chanté, Sam, Ruby and Al! You can turn it up and crush on it with us on Apple Music or Spotify

  • It’s Oh So Quiet – Björk
  • Sucker – Jonas Brothers
  • Make Me Feel – Janelle Monáe
  • I’ve Just Seen a Face – The Beatles
  • He’s So Fine – The Chiffons
  • There She Goes – Sixpence None the Richer
  • How Will I Know – Whitney Houston
  • Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
  • Saturday Sun – Vance Joy
  • Oh, Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison
  • Stone in Love – Journey
  • Blank Space – Taylor Swift
  • Strange Magic – Electric Light Orchestra
  • Cherry – Rina Sawayama
  • Thinkin Bout You – Frank Ocean
  • Strawberry Blond – Mitski
  • I’ve Been Waiting – Matthew Sweet
  • The Hopeful Song – Hello, I’m Sorry
  • Honey – Eryn Allen Kane
  • Bad Liar – Selena Gomez
  • I Touch Myself – Divinyls
  • Gentle Earthquakes – AURORA
  • I Melt with You – Modern English

Source: spa